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Dealing with the Terrible Twos

Dealing with the terrible twos

I picked up an idea called the "Logic Method" from an audio MP3 file I found on the internet. Do you remember that old salesmen trick of asking a question with a question? Let's use our imagination with an example.

The other day I used this trick on my two year old and I want to share the whole conversation with you.

Allie: "I want to go outside daddy."

Daddy: "What do you want to do outside?"

Allie: "I want you to push me on the swing."

Daddy: "That sounds like fun, but let me ask you a question. When I push you on the swing is that playtime or work time?"

Allie: "That's playtime Daddy."

Daddy: "Honey, your room sure is a mess with all those toys all over the floor.When you pick up your room is that playtime or work time?"

Allie: "That's work time Daddy!"

By having this conversation with my two year old I allowed her to take ownership of both statements. It was much more difficult for her to argue with me about it later.

Daddy: "I tell you what, if you will follow me into your room and help me pick up those toys I will be glad to take you outside and push you in the swing."

Now this does not always work but with a little practice it made a huge difference with our daughter.

Using the "Logic Method" made a significant difference while dealing with the terrible twos. Of coarse this will only work if your toddler is old enough to differentiate work and play. If your child is to young for this method there is another technique called the distraction method for younger toddlers.

Our daughter will turn three in August and being a parent has been a awesome experience. Dealing with the Toddler Temper Tantrums has been quite a challenge for my wife and I. I was pretty naive about raising children before I became a father. I thought that a good smack on the fanny would take care of most problems when my toddler got out of line.

Learn more about Toddler Temper Tantrums Saying No and Keeping the Peace

Chris Thompson knows his stuff

Here's some good information from Chris Thompson on kids and getting them to CLEAN UP!

When it comes to parenting toddlers, one common problem is that toddlers like to take their toys out, but they are not good at putting them away.The reason is simple. Nobody including you or me enjoys picking things up.

In my house we've changed this by anchoring a positive feeling to the whole cleanup process. When I say "anchoring a positive feeling" I mean that we have established a ritual that is fun for the kids, so it makes them feel good. Since the fun is connected to clean-up time it literally programs their brains to enjoy clean-up time.

What do we do? We play a particular song and sing along while we put away the toys. The song is "Dreamer" by Supertramp. It's a fun song and we've come up with our spoof version of it at home. Basically we substitute the word "Clean-up" instead of "Dreamer". Really complicated (not!)

"Clean-up ...everybody clean-up... Put Your hands in the air oh oh ..."

The kids probably think that these are the real lyrics. We call it "The clean-up song" at home. When my youngest daughter was just learning to speak she would shout out at the "oh oh" part because she could not sing the rest. And she did it with such enthusiasm and excitement!

One day I'll teach them the real lyrics so they don't get made fun of when they are older. It reminds me of this one "Saturday Night Live" skit where they talk about songs that are commonly sung with the wrong lyrics. "Purple Haze" by Jimi Hendrix was on the list because some people sing "Excuse me while I kiss this guy" instead of "Excuse me while I kiss the sky". What a laugh!

Anyway back to the point of all this: My kids enjoy the clean-up process because we (parents) are actively involved and we've turned it into a fun activity with an attached feel-good song. That's why it works. There are no fights. I just put on the song and start singing. You can do this with any activity and make it fun.

If this strategy sounds useful to you then you'll absoutely *love* my "Talking To Toddlers" audio course (downloaded in MP3 format). In this course I teach you all sorts of strategies to completely change the emotional state of your child, eliminate resistance and reduce parenting stress.

This guy rocks and so does his terrible twos and beyond audio program.

On another note we had been looking for a suitcase for our little girl and a friend recommended this cute one. The really neat feature is that your kids can ride them also. Really cool!

"Because" can be a powerful word!

I picked this up from Chris Thompson's website and wanted to pass it along because it can come in handy with dealing with kids of all ages. If you use this word in the correct manner you can get your kids to follow your instructions a lot easier. The word is "Because".

It goes like this:

1) state your command/request

2) say "because"

3) state any reason.

At this point you might be thinking that I'm crazy, and that this is just too obvious. Believe me when I tell you that it works because I've ready the study that proves it.

The reason that you provide in step 3 does not have to make sense. The word "because" is a funny word that has been proven to affect people. When you hear the word "because", you simply assume that whatever follows it is a valid reason. It is an automatic function of the human brain. Just like you'd automatically pull your hand away from a hot stove top, you are literally programmed to treat "because" as a word that comes before a VALID reason. Therefore you tend to almost outright ignore the reason.

Suppose you have a 8 year old son, Tommy. He hasn't cleaned his room. You can say to him, "Tommy, clean your room because we're going out for dinner later".

What the heck does going out for dinner have to do with cleaning his room? Pretty much nothing. But this tactic works most of the time.

It's amazing how simple this stuff can be! I get a lot of good information like this from www.tipsfortoddlers.info Check it out and have fun with your kids!

Getting your two year old to take a bath.

It is important that you try to make bath time fun because it is yet another way to interact with your toddler. Our two year old daughter usually has a pretty good time playing after I clean her with a soapy wash cloth. A couple of weeks ago my wife was planting tomato plants in the back yard and Allie got filthy while playing with the potting soil. Once inside my wife took off my daughter's cloths but for some reason she didn't want to take a bath. Well, their was no way that we could let her stay inside as dirty as she was.

You are then faced with a possible meltdown because that kid was going to get in that tub on her own or by force! My better half decided to follow some advice that we picked up online and she undressed and climbed in first. My wife played and splashed and what do you know Allie almost tripped trying to get into the tub with her! Terrible Twos' meltdown avoided! We picked this up as well as the additional tips below at the following site. www.tipsfortoddlers.info

• As mentioned above my wife has on occasion taken a bath with our daughter.
• Get a bottle of bubbles at the store and keep them for bath time. Tell your toddler that after they are cleaned up you can blow bubbles together. Save them just for bath time.
  
• Sing songs and just try to make the experience as fun as possible for your toddler.
• Keep a favorite bath toy on hand for your toddler for bath time.
• Give your toddler a heads up about bath time. If they are in the middle of an activity let them know that when it's over it's time to get cleaned up.
  

How to deal with terrible twos'

We have a beautiful little girl and her name is Allie. We celebrated her second birthday last August with a nice birthday party. Well, not long afterword she started to use the words "NO & WANT" a lot more frequently! The terrible twos' struck us like lightning! She was also developing a love for chocolate and when we would go grocery shopping the checkout line was becoming more of a flash point for meltdowns.

I decided to do some research on the terrible twos' and figured why not post my first ever blog about this crazy time in our toddlers lives. I stumbled across a website that offered a free audio lesson on dealing with terrible twos'. Simply click on the link below and then scroll to the bottom of the page and click the parenting blog tab to get your free lesson. I recommend it for anybody that is having trouble with the terrible twos'. www.Tipsfortoddlers.info.